I want to become girl

Hi i am anita. I am male but i am desperate to become woman. I can't wait to wear all these beatifull clothes, makeup and jwellary. If god has given me liking of women then y did he made me man. To feel like woman i wear bra, saree and makeup when i am alone at home. From childhood i had fetish to have long hair. Now i desire to have boobs normally i don't get chance to wear female clothes because my family rarely go for outing. I also wish to have my ear and nose pierced to feel like girl. I am in big dillema what to do. I think my thinking my nature is not like males. I don't get along well with males and because i am male i don't have any saheli (female friend ) like all girls with whom they share their feeling. Iam not a gay. I am in lot of confusion.