My journey

I want toa write this blog in english but i can better write it in hindi.
Mujme bachpan se ladkiyo ke kapdo k prati lagav he lekin aisa lagta tha me aisi kyu hu, Lagta tha jese ki me pichle janam me aurat thi aur meri female bhavna a puri hone se pahle hi me mar chuki houngi islia shayad male ke rup me born hone k bavjud muje ladkiyo k kapde makeup aur jwellary pahan ne ka sajne savrne ka sokh muje he, aisa me socha karti thi. Muje lagta tha ki me sirf akeli hu jise female ban ne ki dilchaspi he, ha ek aur bat kehdu ki muje female ki tarah bolna bhi achha lagta he jaise ki me jati hu karti hu etc etc. Islia me yaha female ki tone me bolungi. Jab maine shayad 8th std me thi tab pahli bar suna ki ek aadmi aurat ban gaya, aur sun ke behad khus thi ki mere jaise aur bhi log he, me jaise feel karti hu koi aur bhi aisa feel karta he. Me wo news dekhna chahti thi lekin nahi dekh pai, sab student yehi bat kar rahe the ki wo aurat kyu bana, me ye samaj sakti thi ki wo aurat kyu bana, lekin unko kese batati ki ye desire kitni strong hoti he, maine bahut bar is desire se ko dabana chaha lekin sirf kuch week tak shayad phir khudko female clothes pahan ne se control nahi kar pati ek bat aur kehdu ki ab ye blog likhte wakt bhi maine apne kapdo ke niche bra pahan rakhi he, Ye bat chat pe sunte hi log haste he ki tumhe boobs to he nahi phir bra kyu paheni ho, islia pahni hu ki ladkia bra pahenti he aur jaisa wo feel karti he me bhi wo feeling karna chahti hu, yahi nahi jwellary ki lambe hair ki feeling me karna chahti hu, lekin family ke samne ya log kya kahege is bat se darti hu, me janti hu ki ye fashion he aajkal lekin meri family ise pasand nahi karegi aur muje bhi unke samne aane me sarmindgi mehsus hogi, lekin ye ek wish he jo me chahti hu ki puri ho, chalo ab kuch bate karte hu bobby darling k bare me maine bobby darling ko pahli bar dekha tha sas bhi kabhi bahu thi me. Lekin wo gay he, jab ki me gay nahi, lekin wo bhi crossdressing karta he aur me bhi, uske bad wo bigboss me aai thi aur kabhi kabar news dikh jati thi. Me jab tv dekhti thi to bobby darling ko dekhna chahti hu lekin wo kabhi dikhti nahi. Use saree pahni hui photo ya video dekhne ko me bechen rahti hu lekin pata nahi kyu wo sari pahanti hi nahi stardust awards me wo sari pahankar aai thi aur bahot hi gorgeous lag rahi thi, pata nahi wo sari kyu nahi pahan ti. Me use sari pahne hua dekhna chahti hu and i want ki wo kisi serial me uska sariwala getup ho. Lekin ab to vo tv serial dikhti hi nahi nahi tv pe. Me sari hi prefer karti hu agar muje female kapde pahan ne ka chance milta he to kyu ki sari or saree mera favourate dress he